Expectations

After looking through my old posts on this blog, I noticed that I spend a lot of time wishing and struggling for peace and harmony in my household, but yet, for several years it has alluded me no matter what I do or try.  I sound like a broken record.

So now I ask myself:
Am I expecting something unrealistic?
Or is there really a problem here that I am not dealing with?

The answer to both questions is yes.

I suppose the first part of the issue is that not everyone's idea of peace and harmony is the same.  Or they have different ways of getting there.  Or maybe it really doesn't matter to them.  And it really doesn't matter, since I have come to realize that the only place to find peace and harmony is within yourself, regardless of what other people think, do, say, or feel. Expecting someone else to fit into your own parameters isn't realistic.  What it does is guarantee disappointment.  And boy have I been disappointed.  I have been looking outside of myself for reinforcement, support, and yes, I admit it - peace.  The thing is, is that I set myself up for the disappointment.  I didn't live in the present moment.  I was looking to the next moment and finding fault with what was NOW, and how it would affect the future, my future... MY tranquility.  And naturally I blamed it on the perceived intrusion and/or impediment rather than accepting reality and my part in the disruption.

But then there is the nagging feeling that what I am hoping for ISN'T unrealistic.  I KNOW it is possible.

So what then is the problem?  Naturally we need to deal with the people and situations around us, and having expectations of others is completely normal, but what you do with them is where the difference lies.  I am concluding that the real key to dealing with our expectations is COMMUNICATION.  Without REAL communication, the entire structure of reliance and trust between two people breaks down.  If everyone openly and honestly communicates effectively, and LISTENS to the other person's concerns/needs, there should be no reason why a happy medium can't be found.  However, if one or neither party is able to effectively communicate and/or listen, it is virtually impossible for the needs/desires of either party to be met.  Unfortunately I am finding myself in just this situation.

So how do you resolve a stalemate?  You change yourself.  You change the circumstance.  You change the environment.  You change your expectations.  You change SOMETHING.  The only thing you can't change is someone else, and expecting them to change IS unrealistic.  You may find that the only way to find resolution is by leaving the relationship.  No matter what change you make, it really becomes our responsibility to ourselves, to take necessary measures to find our own personal peace and satisfaction in our relationships and lives.

The well known definition of INSANITY seems a very fitting way to end this post;

Insanity;  Doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results.

Is it time to end the insanity in your life?  Make a change for the better.  Today I accept responsibility for my own peace and harmony.

Freedom from FB

After finally succumbing to the pressure to join FaceBook, and actually enjoying it for a while, I have recently come to the realization that FB really hasn't brought any substantial benefit to my life.  In fact, it has done the opposite by taking much of my free time from my family, and myself.  I haven't done any knitting or spinning, no photography, not as much reading, no new blog posts, etc.  FB really became a drain of my time and energy, it stifled my creativity, and essentially created an addict.  I made the decision last week to delete my FB account, and after a few days of withdrawal, I am finally feeling liberated!  What a relief.  It is time to get back to my life.  The life that is here - now - and is REAL.  The article that pushed me over the edge is here - http://www.minimalistathome.com/your-digital-life-is-not-your-life/.  Perhaps some of you will come to the same realization as I did.

2011 - Already?!

Another turn of the year has come and gone.  We are already 1/2 way through January!  I find myself amazed at the accelerating rate of the passage of time.  No matter how hard I try to slow life down, it keeps going - faster and faster.  I suppose I will just have to accept the fact that time really does fly.
So where have I been the past 4 months?  Home.  Trying my best to bring harmony to our household.  And although challenging, I have had some success.  Here is an update on the happenings of late;

We are still homeschooling, and doing MUCH better than we did last year.  December was tough to keep momentum going, but that is par for the course with the holidays.  I am not going to beat myself up about taking a few weeks off for the holidays.  I am overjoyed to say that we are almost finished with MathUSee Gamma!  We started over with it in September and have made steady and swift progress.  Both kids are reaching mastery of multi-digit multiplication.  We are on course to move into division in the next month or so!  I am so very pleased and am breathing with relief at their progress.   The Spectrum writing workbooks have proven to be a tremendous help as well.  I have seen great progress in both of their writing and spelling abilities even though it doesn't feel like we have been making any extraordinary effort.  I think the variety of the lessons as well as more consistency has been the key to improvement.  Reading has really taken off this year too, especially for H.  It is a joy to come home from the library with armloads of books and actually see that my son is reading them.  I thought it would never happen, but patience has paid off.  Overall, I am feeling the best I have thus far with our HSing.  I think I have finally reached a true knowing that the kids will be fine, even if we don't do it like they do at PS.  It is a blessing to have them learning at home.  My son is still very enthusiastic about cooking, and is looking forward to some serious science projects.  Both kids also want to learn to sew and knit, so there are lots of fun things on the horizon for us.

As for myself, I have been challenged to the extreme over the past few months in several aspects, but I feel like the sun may finally be breaking through if at least a little at a time.  My primary concern at the moment is my struggle with severe anemia.  The past three months I have been struggling with it, but have just come to discover that it has gotten worse.  I am now engaging in overdrive iron supplementation and hope it will make a difference.  Another month will tell.  My financial picture is slowly taking shape with the recent purchase of a duplex, but I still am looking for a way to further supplement my personal income.  I am seriously considering starting up my spinning business again.  Which reminds me - I have actually made some time to sit down with my wheels again!  It feels so good to create once again.  It has been long overdue...

My goals for this year are pretty basic - to keep up our HS momentum, to improve my (and our) health, and to continue to improve my financial outlook.  And finally to bring back joy and peace to my household.

OH!  I almost forgot!  We got another doggie! She is a young Australian Cattle Dog (aka; blue heeler).  I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would ever own more than one dog at a time, but much to my enjoyment, we now have two!

MY how time flies!

I can't believe how much time has passed since my last post.  Much has happened the past few weeks, but on the same note, not much has happened at the same time.  I can barely remember what we have been busy with, but will give it my best shot.

I suppose I should begin where I left off.  H has finally found a boy scout den to join, and the fun began with fundraising popcorn sales.  The idea of going door to door selling expensive popcorn did not thrill me in the least, but in the spirit of encouraging my son, I kept my mouth shut and smiled.  Luckily, the events of several days saved me from the anticipated doom....  Here is how it started...

We decided to take a week off school while I installed a new laminate wood floor in our basement. Of course this was news well received by the kids, and I was looking forward to the challenge of the project (After all, I had never-ever done any construction type work before).  The man unit (husband) didn't want anything to do with the nagging project since he had to work and was sick of projects, and so in my characteristic fashion decided that I would do it myself.  And so work began.  It was slow going the first day, but soon gained momentum as I gained practice and experience with the tools and materials.  Yes! I was thinking, I can get this done in a week...  By day 4 I was about half way finished, but then had to break for a few days...  What interrupted us?  An estate sale across the street....

The estate sale turned out to be quite an event.  For three days there was a constant flow of people in and out of the house across the street.  The kids and I found ourself "visiting" several times as well.  Yes, purchases were made, but I will tell about those in another post.  What we did decide though, was that it would be the perfect opportunity to set up a Boy Scout Popcorn table at the top of our driveway.  On our first day, H sold approximately $50 worth of popcorn in only two or so hours. He was very pleased!  Naturally, we decided we would have to set up again the following day, along with a lemonade stand for L.  What a great idea!  And to make it even better, we would sell muffins in the morning for all the early garage sale birds.  Let me say this - I was beginning to wonder if we should set up a permanent stand.  The kids did great!  It was well worth the effort, and the kids had a few solid days of real work experience.  Admittedly I was tired myself, but very pleased with the experience the kids got in sales and money handling.  Both of them gained confidence on many levels from the experience.  The added bonus was that H sold enough popcorn to meet his "suggested" minimum sales.  WoooHooo!  We wouldn't have to go door to door!

UPDATE:  H was awarded with the esteemed title of "Popcorn King".  He was the top salesman in his entire Boy Scout Pack!  WAY TO GO!

Boy Scouts

My son has finally found a cub scout den to join!  We have certainly had a tough time finding boys his age in the immediate area to play with, so this is the perfect answer.  He is thrilled!  I'm even having a tough time keeping him out of his scout uniform (Aren't they funny).  Our first meeting went wonderfully.  He knows a few of the boys from the short stint of PS so he doesn't feel like an outsider.  Also, it is a small enough group that he isn't overwhelmed.  Neither of my kids are large group types.  They definitely thrive in one-to-one or small group environments.  H is now on a mission to earn his patches.  He already earned a zoo patch at the pack meeting, and likely will earn another for his efforts in karate (need to update the karate situation in a later post).  Little L now wants to find a girl scout troop to join, so the search is on.

On a side note,  I have never heard of this before - the boy scouts sell popcorn for fundraising.  I know all about girl scout cookies, but not boy scout popcorn.  I don't know how I made it this far in life without ever hearing of it.  Oh well... The boys set up a popcorn table at the grocery store on Saturday and sales were fairly good.  I was actually surprised at how supportive people were of the scouts.  A very senior and enthusiastic former Eagle Scout even drilled the boys on their motto and promise.  He told us of all the fond memories he has of scouts, even after all these years. It was quite charming.  I got to sample some of the caramel popcorn... mmmmmm.  Yummy stuff.  Pricey but good.  I bought a bag on the spot (must have been hungry) with plans of more.  As you can guess, H is now selling popcorn to raise funds for the boy scouts.  Would you like to order some?  Here is H's link to the online ordering site.  He would be very thankful for your support.  http://www.trails-end.com/estore/scouts/email_referral.jsp?id=8356096
Now I'm hungry.... sigh.  And not one popcorn kernel in the house....

Change of plans, just for a day

My living room floor... Gorgeous!

Instead of our usual academics we took a different approach to our day today.  The fall colors are simply stunning right now - leaves freshly dropped from the trees are crisp and richly colored and smell of earth and autumn.  I have had the idea in the back of my mind to get out and collect leaves for a fall project and today was the day.  With rainstorms brewing, we rushed outside with grocery bags in hand and headed up the trail.  Approximately 10 minutes into our hike we arrived at the mother load of autumn leaves.  All colors, shapes, and sizes.  Leaves, twigs, pine cones, and the occasional rock all made their way into our overflowing sacks.  The kids chattering the entire time, picking here, picking there, and helping the branches shed just a few more leaves, breathing the fresh autumn air and simply being in nature was therapeutic for us all.  I once again became the best teacher on the planet, at least for today.  Once our bags were full to bursting, and the threat from distant thunder drew closer, we headed back home with our bounty.  Immediately upon arrival, much like after a Halloween outing, the kids poured out their goodies all over the middle of the living room floor for closer inspection and sorting.  Fall had moved indoors!  As the world's best teacher I prepared for some actual crafting, the kids busied themselves with dreams of collecting more leaves to jump into and then headed to the kitchen table.  Today we are making fall wreaths with the added bonus of using hot glue guns for the very first time.  And a bonus it was!  H quickly discovered you could make some pretty neat crystal looking blobs with this glue. After the initial novelty of crystal blobs wore off, the real work began.  Here are some photos of our fall decor creations in progress and finished.  Oh - and the best part, we spent some quality time together, we all had fun, and the cost was FREE! (except for some glue sticks).  Life is good.

Week 1 review

I am so very pleased.  Overall it was quite a successful week one of homeschooling.  Even with the behavioral hiccups, we had a great start to school this year.  A LOT better than last year I must say.  I hate to brag, but I would venture to say that this has probably been our best start yet!  I am very optimistic for a great year full of accomplishments and learning.  It is my biggest hope however, that my relationship with my kids will transform into something deeper, closer, and more harmonious than what we have experienced thus far.  As the teen years inch their way closer and closer, I am so much more aware of how quickly time flies and how soon the kids will begin to follow their own paths.  It pains me to say that I feel like I haven't been able to "really" have the kind of relationship with my kids that I envisioned not so long ago.  Thank goodness there is still time to change the tides in a more favorable direction.  I so look forward to building a new level of closeness with my kids, built on mutual respect and genuine interest and caring for each other.  There is no other time than the present...  My focus is clearer now than it ever was before, and I think I finally have all the tools I need to fulfill my vision.  A favorite quote of mine is ringing so true for me right now -

"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's time for me to start living the life I have dreamed for myself.... 

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:  Boy did I go off on a tangent... Back to the subject of school now.  We had a fantastic week.  It looks like the schedule I pieced together is going to work nicely (although we may have to start a touch earlier in the morning).  Our accomplishments of the week included;

Basic math review and practice - place value to 100 million, carrying, borrowing, rounding and estimating.  Multiplication begins next week!

Language arts - basic spelling review (actually more like a total refresher), some actual writing (pen to paper) and light grammar and punctuation review.  I am SO THRILLED to see that the kids are much more interested in reading now!  Neither one of them was too thrilled about reading last year, so this is a major hurdle we have overcome.  YAY!

Poetry review - unfortunately the kids have forgotten about half of the poems they memorized last year, so we will begin anew with those.

And the highlight of the week (drum roll please) - the kids got their first official cooking lesson!  Woooo Hooo!  They had a grand time making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies!  I am now considered the "best teacher" in the world.  (Aren't they funny?) It really doesn't get much better than this does it?


Have a great weekend!

A much improved Day 3 of HSing

What a relief!  Our HSing Day #3 went as well as Day 1.  The kids have come to the quick conclusion that it does not pay to be difficult.  Thank goodness!  We swiftly moved through all our lessons without all the moaning and groaning of yesterday.  When the kids showed signs of loosing control of themselves, a quick reminder served to shape them right up.  I feel good!

However, the kids aren't the only ones who learned a lesson.  I am getting back into the swing of things, and am finding that planning a lesson that's not too short or too long takes some practice.  Yesterday was a great learning experience for "what happens when the lesson goes too long".  Oh well.  We all survived and came out in one piece in the end.

I hope that other HS moms out there are having quick and easy success with their students/lessons! What a blessing for parents to be able to stay home and have this time with our children.  It feels so right to be the one who teaches my kids not just academics, but also good character and general life skills.

What a difference a day makes

Oh brother.  It's 3PM and my daughter is STILL NOT DONE with her schoolwork.  I have been at this table since 10AM this morning.  Obviously things have not gone according to schedule or even remotely close to how the day went yesterday.  The kids have been testing me ALL DAY LONG.  I figure if I stay tough today, we may have a chance at a smooth rest of the week.  I can only hope.  So, today we did get through all our studies, but not without lots of interruptions, goofing around, complaining, whining, several time outs, some arguing and a temper tantrum... Where is Santa with the pear tree when you need him?

Our first day back to homeschool!

What a wonderful start to our HSing year! We started on time, there was no whining or complaining, and the kids actually even enjoyed our first day! The teacher was quite pleased as well.  So - what did we do? 
After the kids finished their morning routine and breakfast, and after they tended to the animals (while I cleared the table), we all took our seats in the kitchen classroom.  The funny thing is that the kids happened to remember that last year's teacher had a very strange name (I forgot all about it).  Mrs. Kronable...  Yep, that's me!  They insisted that I introduce myself before beginning and so I did.  I introduced the schedule of the week and month to the kids and they seemed rather pleased.  It looks a bit like this -
M-F  Journal
M-TH  Math
MWF  Word of the Week (aka character study)
TTH   Poetry Memorization
M-TH Spelling
M-TH Writing
M-F  Music lesson and practice (The kids will be learning the recorder)
M-F     1 hour of daily quiet/reading time

Our Fridays aren't as academic

Journal and Math are still required, but then the remainder of class time will be spent on Life Skills.  We will be starting with cooking lessons.  The kids already have a long list of things they are ready to prepare.  Mainly cake, cookies, candy and chocolate.  They may be disappointed to learn that they will be learning more than just baking, but I won't tell them just yet.

Something I am doing different this year is incorporating one week per month of concentrated Art, History, or Science studies.  I had a difficult time before fitting adequate time in for these on a daily basis, so rather than have it all spread out, we will take a solid week to work on a unit study.  The kids       
thought this was a great idea.  I'm liking the idea too.  It just seems to make sense. 

SO - After explaining the schedule and the things that will be expected of the kids, the kids started with their first journal entry.  They were reminded to use neat handwriting, and were discouraged from writing the same entry over and over again for each day (something my DD did at daycare Public school).  (I had to laugh at myself over this issue.  At the end of PS, my daughter brought home her neatly bound and beautifully decorated journal from first grade.  It was a work of art which I eagerly looked forward to reading.  In anticipation of finding profound words of wisdom that only a seven year old could fathom, and glorious insights into the mind of my little princess, I opened her journal and began to read.  I turned the pages with mixed emotions.  I was glad to find that she really really likes our dog and our two cats.  But an entire journal dedicated to the subject was a bit disappointing much.  Out of approximately 25 or so entries, all but two introduced our dog and cats... over and over again... sigh.  So much for my profound reading experience.)

Next, we moved into some basic math review.  I figured I better make sure they remembered place values, and how to add, subtract, carry and borrow before starting with multiplication.  Thankfully they did remember (dd needed a little reminder but was quick to pick it up again).  We practiced a few questions on the white boards and then moved ahead with some basic worksheet practice.  It was quick and easy.  And a great confidence and enthusiasm builder.  ;)

We took a short break and returned to do some penmanship practice.  My son has always had messy writing and any bit of dedicated practice is of great benefit.  We didn't get into any language art instruction today mainly because I still need to figure out what to review and where to begin anew.  Tomorrow is another day, and I have another few hours to dig into our spelling lessons and figure out a starting point.  Anyyyywayyyy, once they finished their penmanship, they were free to have lunch and recess, followed by Quite/Reading time.  This seemed the perfect way to end our first day back to homeschool.  And so it was.

My son tonight told me he was happy to begin learning again and that the first day back to HS was "fun".  It makes my heart smile.